#8: They say you need to change. Like I wasnt doing enough before? I have always struggled with this word. Youre my friend, not my parents! Your email address will not be published. Better Responses 2023. It's nothing bad or unusual. 1. "A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you." - C.S Lewis 2. The way you _____ is such a perfect addition for our family. This expression is much more self-focused, i.e. Want to Change the Way you React to Your Children? Achieving your goals will help you stay motivated, inspire you to set and achieve more, and increase confidence. (I'd prefer "I'm really impressed with report - I can see how much effort you put in, and it's going to be helpful for the organisation". He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. What do they perceive - when a parent (or teacher) says "Im proud of you"? I had a lot of this type of treatment in that small community. 16. . Your email address will not be published. For going back to work when Im still hardly sleeping, due to having an 8 week old at home? It can also help to show appreciation to others and can help to create stronger relationships. You would have to know the whole story. Im so happy to have you in my life, thanks! But worse, my friend thanked them. I like what Chris Yeh said about the (phrase/declaration), Im proud of you, Please contact info@parentskills.com.au for further information. I can make it possible only because you give me hope. Use words that will strengthen your relationship. They just say it. It will also help to give you a boost of confidence. Yeah, this means a lot to me. Responding to Im proud of you with gratitude has many benefits. . ), Seven Thoughts to Help You Parent Peacefully, Hints on Maintaining a Harmonious Household. By the fifth repeat of the painting, the response from him mother may quite different from the first. Our children need to know that we believe in them, that we trust them, that we support them, that we love them, that we acknowledge them as individuals separate from us. That proud phrase didnt bother me at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I began to wonder, what does she mean when she says shes proud of me? Probably no big deal but would be interested in input from others especially other females. Renew your PET skills; complete the full course over flexible times; or one-off parenting sessions. Sept. 29, 2020, 8:12 PM PDT / Updated Sept. 30, 2020, 5:34 AM PDT. Here are seven possible ways to interpret his compliment. I know you and I haven't been seeing eye-to-eye lately. by Carolyn Steber. I very quickly responded with a snappy, Why? He said because you were up last night with the baby, and went to work, and youre still cleaning this late at night. Um What a shock that I am hardly sleeping, cleaning constantly, working again, taking care of two babies, doing his laundry/dishes/cooking It really rubbed me the wrong way that he was proud of me. I felt great to know he as proud of me, especially after he had read my term report cards in high school. So, the next time someone says Im proud of you, remember to take the time to think about how you want to respond. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. I wish everyone had a genuine friend like you. but you do play a role in their success! Overall, its reserved for people who you trust and respect. Health Gap. I use the other terms like Im so happy for you. That makes you a living miracle. Looking for some extra money from your parents? Why is your manager taking credit for the work you put into the report? . "Scorned ex-girlfriends are the worst. 6. He may understand you have daddy issues and need a masculine pat on the back. And why should I stop using this phrase? I googled a sentence on this topic to see if anyone had written on it (hoping they had). Updated 7th September 2016; and 19th April 2019. They may become adults who are vulnerable, who do not have a strong sense of self-worth. And you get to benefit from them regardless of the outcome of your relationship. But is that really very useful? Well also discuss the power of words, the benefits of responding with gratitude, and how to show appreciation to others. Here are 5 other ways to say "I'm proud of you" to older children: 06 "It's been an honor to watch you grow up." This can be used for both a teen and an adult. 2. No matter who they are, they all have one thing in common they make us feel loved. Set realistic goals. Aw yeah, yeah, yeah. Who determines the meaning of words? Feb 10, . No. Might you quietly ask yourself Who was it that put in the hard hours to get a good report? If a friend said it to me, I might say "Thank you", but I'd be thinking "Well, who gave you authority over me, then?". until recently when a Goddaughter won an amazing internship, beating 2000 other applicants, and her other Godmother put a message on Facebook saying how proud she was of her. You worked so hard, you really deserve that job! But what exactly does this phrase mean and how should you respond to it? "I know someone in recovery". Approval is a parent's judgement of a child's choices - and to a child, this feels like a judgement of them as a person. Do you really think this had a lot of positive impact on many children? Let them know that you are grateful for their support. Sure, they get angry with one another, as do all brothers, but they forgive and move on. A: It's not necessarily wrong to take pride in our work, of course; if we don't, our work will probably end up sloppy or incomplete. And, here are the respectful replies to respond with: 1. If a parent can say, Im proud of you, then can the parent also say the opposite , Children may become dependent on their parents (and others, such as teachers or grandparents) evaluation of their achievements. The truth here is, different people say and hear different things in the expression Im proud of you.. Overall, seeing your parents, family and loved ones are proud of you, is a great compliment. Imagine this: Four-year-old John shows his Mum a painting he's just done. Connect, Converse and Communicate Better. The rest were manual labourers. 4. Look him in the eyes and smile. Thank You. And guess what? Towards Net Zero. John decides to replicate his painting (for the reward of praise, not for his own sense of improvement and competence), and looks up at his mother with rapturous expectation. Simply thanking them or hugging them is an immediate reaction to it. 12. If you want to reply saying you're proud of the person saying he's proud of you, the only correct answer out of those four is "I'm proud of you too". Maybe instead of telling me hes proud of me, like its such a surprise, maybe he should have just offered to do the dishes. 24. I think children want simply to be accepted and respected as themselves. Its obviously a powerful word. My boys are all each others fan club and its marvelous. Here I would say something like, Youre so talented!/Thats brilliant! Try these new and funny excuses to ask for money from your parents or your family. I am livid because a couple of arrogant, condescending people who had been known briefly, posted, We are so proud and impressed, on a stinking FB page, I do not use FB, etc. First, he is probably higher status / higher power. For what? Is your partner proud because they can now be associated with a high achiever? Positive reinforcement is a powerful tool that can help to encourage and motivate people. For doing what Im supposed to do? I cannot tell you how happy I am, for her, to witness her achievement and how much I admire her tenacity in overcoming all she has. Ben Casnocha It is a darn good thing that you wrote your opinion; that I found it tonight, and that comments continue to be accepted. Ive been waiting for a long time to give you this surprise! 15. The best way to do this is to express your own feelings of appreciation. You're not necessarily the expert. 16. Because of this, it might feel awkward to say "I'm proud of you" to a friend or colleague, even if you mean it. Briefly, some difficulties include: Four-year-old John shows his Mum a painting he's just done. But only emotionally intelligent people understand why. 1. But, when you want to make your responses more effective and special, these are some good ways to do it. Immune Response. Private face-to-face sessions and course not available at this point. Whoever those people are, they are probably your mentors. Happy I did it, finally! . Larissa Dann, a veteran trainer of Parent Effectiveness Training in Australia, suggests that we stop saying "I am proud of you," and start saying, "I am proud for you." 1 It is a subtle shift from the accomplishment being about the parent to the accomplishment being about the child. Consequently I now cringe every time I hear the term being used out of context . I drove home and when I got home I texted her that I had arrived home safely. (My answer might surprise you. Thank you for your kind words.. But, it can also be a bit overwhelming because it puts the spotlight on us and can make us feel exposed. On the other hand, my brother has said it to me, and although he did not play a role in my achievement, it still meant something positive to me and it felt good. In other words, I care so much about the other person, that their accomplishment can evoke pride in ME. Lovers often feel proud when they see their beloved in action. Continually acting to seek the approval of a parent is onerous for a child. The important thing is to reach out and let the person know that they matter to you. 6. This can help to create stronger relationships and can help to create a positive and constructive environment. Maybe some people act in a way that makes you upset they're doing that on behalf of your country, but you just remember that's not the reason you're proud to be from where you are. 6. facilitator, with over 1000 parents completing the course with her. I have a one year old boy and a two month old boy, and I had my first day back at work yesterday. Love you so much. Might as well as them to stop saying yall or bless her heart.. They can be proud; we should be happy for them, and grateful that we played any part in it. Partner: "You think you have a lot going on, let me tell you . Oh.. very good. 4 . An acquaintance commented on a recent Facebook post I made that he was proud of me and immediately I felt so mad about that but couldnt figure out why. "), Friend: "I'm proud of you for being brave and standing up to your boss", As the friend who has found that courage, is this statement something you would appreciate? Dear! Pause before responding. And do you really mean that you are damned impressed with your friend for her achievement? First, there's physical attraction. They are much more aware and can see through false motivation easily. We laughed a lot and re-lived some old memories. But what does proud mean? So, lets get started! That way, all they have to do is show up. Its a way of saying I see the hard work youve put in and I appreciate it. He's proud of you. Second, he must know you well. Is the childs achievement actually a reflection of their parents achievement? Focus on this thing or person for a few minutes to get yourself into a more positive mindset. 4. Well cover some of the better responses you can give, like thanking them, making them feel special, or making them laugh. The reader alone is responsible for any action they take as a result of reading this website. Mull over various relaxing options, like meeting up for coffee or tea, and then send along one concrete plan, Manly says. Benjamin Franklin Positive, Forgiveness, Respect 985 Copy quote Yes, I'm sure you've come across "me too" in such situations, but it's very often ambiguous, or sounds arrogant. I can point them out to my friends and say, Those are my sons!. Its just a colloquialism for way to go or awesome sauce or good for you! No one means to be condescending or imply they got you there in some way. Ive had multiple people tell me theyre proud of me like my parents, grandparents, elders but it just doesnt mean anything to me, I dont have any emotional response from any of them and my response ends up being ok or yup. How many people in your life can say, "I'm proud of you," and you take it fully and without any sort of resentment or dismissal? Im proud of myself, although saying it out loud doesnt make it better. The proud feeling transcends from child to parent. Again, these phrases are my evaluation of my childs effort. By accepting the compliment and reflecting on your qualities, you may feel more satisfied in life. It can be something big or something small it doesnt matter, because the phrase is used to show their appreciation for your efforts and accomplishments. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Great to hear this. I, too, rightly believe that I had little to do with my offspring making his way in life in a manner that is worthy, but as parent, conveying I am proud of you, has distinctive and important meaning. 10. Why is this such a contentious phrase? I dont care that I had to hear it from a video-taped personage. The administrator takes no responsibility for any action or outcome a reader may make as a result of reading a post. Do you think if they didn't mean it they would say it? I really dont see that she had a direct influence in what I chose to do. "If by a "Liberal" they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people-their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights and their civil liberties-someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicions that grip us in our policies abroad, if that is . She is an accredited and highly experienced P.E.T. She reciprocated. These two simple words"I care"can mean so much to a person who may be feeling like the entire world is against them. All rights reserved. It makes sense for a mentor or parent to say this, or a friend or other who served in some coaching role. "), Parent: "Im proud that you got all As in your school report/won that tennis trophy", How might you feel as the child? She says "Good boy. Thats what I think. There are some super special and engaging responses you can give when someone very close to you, says that theyre proud of you. After reading these posts, I think the following: a person will feel pride in anothers accomplishment when they feel deeply connected with the other. Whatever you did today was the way it was meant to be. How might you feel as the worker? This will help to build your self-esteem and will help you to feel more confident. This will help to create a bond between the two of you and will strengthen your relationship. In most situation expresses negative connotations, such as "He is very ", which means he is over proud of himself (). In the South, people are proud of you if they know you. I know that it is in the nature of the internet that you can confirm, and get consensus about most any belief you have, but, if that is what has happened here, Im OK with it. Disclaimer: The articles, blogs, testimonials and P.E.T. For Stein, the worst compliment is hearing: "You've lost soooo much weight! For even more than mentors, but for people who deserve your care and attention in life. 2. We love all of our readers and we want to you to know how much youre appreciated! . What a surprise! Of course, the child may feel really pleased to hear this positive evaluation of their efforts. I wouldn't trade your friendship for anything in the world. Thanks. When I tell my kids Im proud they are surprised and pleased. As soon as you break . My native language is not English, but I have fallen into the unfortunate (for somethings) of social netwoks, like facebook. If Your Partner Ever Says These 20 Things, You Should Break Up. Aw yeah, yeah, yeah. Then there's emotional attraction. 14. Responding to Im proud of you with gratitude can help to boost your confidence and can help you to overcome self-doubt. Youll feel mad and resentful. Now, John may hear "I'm disappointed that this is the same picture. Im so glad to hear that. But, the real credit goes to you and you only! Instead of these phrases, focus on how proud you are of the person. 12. Your partner is really happy about the achievement that you have made in your life or career. This is 20 years ago, and I still remember this moment. As a friend I want you to know that I am so proud of you. I'll help with whatever you need to make it . We can all have slightly different interpretations of words which if not careful can start a war! the person who says that is actually talking about themselves, not about me, and by saying that is drawing the recognition away from me towards themselves. Be proud of who you are. Exactly the information I was looking for thank you! The Proud Boys ' anger toward Mr. Trump has heightened after he did nothing to help those in the group who face legal action for the Capitol violence. 1. You are happy they are an ambassador for you. Its my feeling that I should only express pride in something Ive accomplished. I thought to myself, who is she to be proud of me? that he harrassed them or . A very concise and articulate post. Yes, I think this is why my friend, even though older, was proud of me, I felt was being presumptious to put herself above me. This topic came to mind because I recently saw a friend / mentor and told him about a meaningful professional accomplishment. Facebook: Please join us on our Facebook page for a mix of articles on children and parenting. No, I am more proud of you, too. If you get a new job, get a participants medal for a 10K or do anything deemed worthwhile, friends, family and acquaintances will say they are so proud of you!!!. A Macquarie Dictionary definition of proud is: feeling pleasure or satisfaction over something conceived as highly honourable or creditable to oneself. Thats something for a parent to say or a parental figurebut only occasionally. But if someone says this to you, without further explanation, then it means that you are not a priority to them, they have other things that they are doing. I was irritated by that remark. I don't think you . Some years ago I attended a parenting seminar, where the speaker incidentally mentioned avoiding the phrase "Im proud of you". And Ill encourage them to be proud. To say you're proud of someone is to say that you can relate to them and, if in their shoes, you would be proud of the accomplishment. Rather, relationship skills where we communicate respectfully by listening, by positive I-Messages, by problem solving with our child, will help ensure our children feel connected and valued, and provide our children with a sense of emotional safety. First, is there anything more emotionally potent than someone you really care about and admire telling you, Im proud of you?, It feels like I can name many movies where this serves as the emotional climax. You know that I'm bound to see you. What are we trying to say or do, when we innocently, and with the best of intentions, praise our children with "Im proud of you"? Encouraging children and others to be proud of themselves is healthier. implying a mentor relationship. Luke 18:9-14 ESV / 5 helpful votes Helpful Not Helpful Can't you do something different?" As your friend I want you to know that there is nothing I wouldn't do for you. This "mental timeout" gives you the space to process the insulting remark in light of what it was; someone's thoughtlessness or an attack meant to provoke a reaction. Is it OK to respond to "I am proud of you" with "Me to", "So do I", and "I am too", and "I am proud of you too"? So thank you Ben, for after read the above I feel happy with my Im thrilled for you, You must feel really proud and the like. But, why does the response "me too" sound natural in response to "I am glad to meet you". They may start to see their parent as being insincere, or even manipulative. 10. Graduates: TBA, Grandparents: PET for Grandparents. What does it mean when a woman says she's proud of you? Well, that truly makes my day. Well done!. By being proud of me that person shares their mind and soul with my mind and soul and includes me in a certain extended period of that persons life. I was excited to see your reaction. Well, that means theyre impressed, happy, and overjoyed with what you did, achieved, or say something. I was damned proud of her for overcoming this setback and told her so. JavaScript is disabled. And thats enough for me. This is a noble endeavor. He may not have expected you to be qualified for the job. I almost never tell anyone Im proud of them, for exactly this reason. I think we need to invent another word for that wonderful feeling in our own chest when someone we care for does something they feel proud about and we agree that they should feel proud. Your thoughts and ideas are so creative, which has allowed you to refine your talent into something unique from others. If this is the case, then of whom is the parent really proud? Thanks for making us proud. Originally Published: March 28, 2018. momcilog/E+/Getty . After reading this, I now believe its because I dont look up to him in any way and he doesnt know me so well as to fully appreciate my accomplishment like my family would. Setting goals you can achieve, also called "realist goals," reduces the chance of frustration or doubting yourself or your abilities. When someone says Im proud of you, they are expressing their admiration, respect, and gratitude for something you have done. Later in life, after having been to university, but not knowing what I really wanted to major in and which degree I wanted to get (prepped for teaching career, but not convinced it was the right career for me), I stopped my studies and took a good union job, which at least paid some bills and gave me teh good feelign of earning money. Usually friends say "I'm so happy for you" or "Really nice job!" I am certain that he would be very proud of you, and he would be proud of your decision to reset your life with rehab. Whatever I did, I just did it for our friendship, Bro. Try The Behaviour Window. From what I read, she falls into the category of know them well but I wonder if its not something a bit out of place. I guess after receiving the compliment, I felt that he was patronizing me, because I have only had my parents or teachers say they were proud of me. She states I always tell someone I am proud of them. Hosted by Pressable. Yes, I agree that it can also be very strong coming from siblings and spouses/lovers. The Next Giant Leap. One of the most common phrases they use to express their feelings is Im proud of you. You should always be proud of who you are imo, and if that includes your nationality then that's fine. I guess its an odd word and I stay away from it because I know how sensitive I am to it. 3. And if one doesnt respect ones parent, what is the reaction to such a statement? You haven't said who is speaking to whom. Im excited, are you? It felt great, and as he falls into both of the categories above, was fully appreciated. Here are some examples of ways you can respond to Im proud of you: These responses will show your appreciation for their words and will help to strengthen your relationship. Everything you do is with excellence. 1. When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre showing that you value the words of the person expressing their admiration and respect for you. 2. Is it a parent speaking to a child, for instance, or a friend to a friend? Gun owners are more likely than non-gun owners to know someone who has been shot (51% vs. 40% of non-owners). Thank you., Im honored that youre proud of me.
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