Your happy retirement wishes in a greeting card, email, or text are a pat on the back, a standing ovation, a hearty toast celebrating both the accomplishment and expectations that retirement represents.. Tailor your best wishes to the retiree as well as your level of relationship or appropriateness given your . Which dinosaurs were the best policemen? Why did the police arrest the turkey? The right one may even get you out of a speeding ticket. Among other things, NewRetirement We have now done so much for so long with so little, we are now capable of doing anything with nothing. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. 35. Dishes. Below you will find our collection of inspirational wise and humorous old funny retirement quotes funny retirement sayings and funny retirement proverbs collected over the years from a variety of sources. What would you do if I stole a kiss? We enjoy success due to your leadership, Have you ever been pulled over for a speeding ticket that you didnt think you deserved? Oh, how jealous I am of you You make me feel blue! As one chapter ends, another begins, welcome to your new . These words may help. Assisted Living Checklist: What To Ask & What To Look For, Quotes & Sayings For Retirement Cards 110 Quotes Continued, Retirement Party Ideas For Coworker | Canyon Winds, 30 Quotations About Getting Old - Desert Winds Retirement Community, Physical Games For Seniors - MeasurAbilities, LLC, 68 Retirement Wishes For A Boss - Canyon Winds Retirement, 65 Quotes About Getting Older | Funny & Inspirational Sayings, 55 Funny And Inspirational Quotes About Aging - Vista Winds Retirement, Motivational Fitness Quotes - Body Smith Fitness, 75 Funny Music Quotes - Amazing Mobile Music, 65 Getting Older Quotes | Chaparral Winds Retirement, Age is an issue of mind over matter. I tell them, a paternity suit. When You Retire, by Tree.Cards When you retire, you get to sleep more, R.C. Police say they have nothing to go on. He had them stumped. If you look at what you have in life, youll always have more. We help. Robert Benchley, If people concentrated on the really important things in life, thered be a shortage of fishing poles. May the wife have a happy time. My dogs dont even own bikes. Abe Lemons, "We spend our lives on the run: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again, go to workand then we retire. picclick.com. 7. They suspected it of fowl play, Do you know why diarrhea is hereditary? (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}). 4. A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way. The police retirement gifts listed above are awesome, for sure. services professional who has a fiduciary relationship with you before making any type of investment or John Barrymore, You know youre getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while youre down there. If a robber robs a house under renovation and accidentally leaves his handprint on wet cement. "Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did.". After observing some erratic driving, he pulls the man over. It's time to work on your golf game, enjoy retirement! Fred Rogers, Work is the curse of the drinking classes. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. Yo Mama so stupid she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged. Fred Rogers, "For many, retirement is a time for personal growth, which becomes the path to greater freedom." Department, thank you for all you have Retirement is not the end of the road. So here are some more great ideas for the boys (and girls) in blue! Now, as the day dawns A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. Not even a rumor. 5. Best wishes! - Gail Sheehy. are presented without warranty. email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. An officer pulls over a man for speeding. Susan Cain, It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man. 23. Officer: I have to give you a ticket for not wearing your glasses. Driver: Officer, I have contacts. Officer: I dont care who you know, youre still getting a ticket.. Weve also compiled some police officer happy retirement messages and wishes if youre looking for an inscription with a little more flexibility. Ruby Dee, "Retirement means doing whatever I want to do. Also, congratulations, Boss! Jerry Seinfeld, "Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the officer said. Discover and share Police Funny Quotes About Retirement. Why did the police arrest the star? The Beatles are well-known enough to be a great choice for a retirement party. 6. The real measure of your wealth is how much youd be worth if you lost all your money. You're no longer cuffed to a job. Having A Good Time Is My Job! Take financial wellness into your own hands and do it yourself retirement planning: easy, "Won't You Celebrate with Me" by Lucille Clifton It's time to celebrate with loved ones. Retirement is not in my vocabulary. Retirement caps a career and opens the door to long-anticipated plans and dreams. Take caution, though, these babies are bad to the bone. "You will be alone. Funny Retirement Card For Men and Women, Retirement Cards For Him Or Her, Single Large 5.5 x 8.5 Happy Retirement Cards For Women, Large Retirement Card For Coworker - Karto - You've Worked 32 $849 FREE delivery Wed, Feb 15 on $25 of items shipped by Amazon Danielle Duckery, "You have to put off being young until you can retire." Oh, my friend, that can't be! Honoring Years of Dedicated Public Service, To A Retiring DHS Officer / Senior Leader. Youll Laugh (or Cry) When You Read These Famous Quotations About Retirement. Betty White, "He who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement." What are the four food groups for cops? 11. Clarence Darrow, "I'm not just retiring from the company; I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron." Congratulations! Thats ridiculous. Use these famous quotes to send a boss, co-worker or teacher off to a happy and healthy retirement. They said he was a real pro for a first offender. Officer: I notice your eyes are bloodshot. My friend was killed by a 2 ton sack of falling chickpeas. The police are trying to say I assaulted a guy with a sheet of sandpaper. 30. Junior Seau. Police Retirement. A word of warning. "The 50 Funniest Quotes about Retirement, via, https://www.curatedquotes.com/funny-retirement-quotes/. POLICE OFFICER WIFE, Personalized, Prayer. Thats becuase it was a shooting star. Kitty ONeill Collins, I never had the sense that there was an end: that there was a retirement or that there was a jackpot. Police departments should continue to hire individuals of the highest possible character, so that young people look at the police in their cities and towns and say, "I want to be like that." "I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. in all your future endeavors! Sort: Relevant Newest # love # happy # work # job # greetings . Happy Retirement! When I was 65, I still had pimples. George Burns, You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. C.S. This religious prayer and word of encouragement is a great way to honor the retiring police chief and wish him or her all the best for a happy and peaceful retirement life. What did the police arrest the hospital patient for? If youre not sure where to start, consider a beautifully written piece with this exact occasion in mind. Personalized "Retired" Travel Tumbler Check Latest Price "Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The basic mission of Police is to PREVENT crime and disorder. They say, Speed Limit 65.'. A personalized crystal plaque engraved with a heartwarming message to the retiring law enforcement officer will mean the world to that public servant in your life. George Foreman, People may live as much retired from the world as they like, but sooner or later they find themselves debtor or creditor to some one. George Burns Retirement life: seen it all, done it all - Can't remember most of it! For example, some Americans start a second career during retirement. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it." "Congratulations on your retirement!". Judge: I thought I said that I never wanted to see you in here again., Criminal: Thats what I kept telling the arresting officer, but he wouldnt listen.. Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. comprehensive, reliable. What happened? Voltaire, The question isnt at what age I want to retire, its at what income. Officer: Do you know how fast you were going?, Driver: Sorry, I was just trying to catch up with traffic. Officer: There is no traffic. Show me a sample retirement speech! to utter words, but to live by them. done for this department over the years! I hope you like the new precinct you've been transferred to - the couch! JONATHAN CLEMENTS. Poke fun at the retiree or help them to revel in the fact they're retiring and everyone else isn't with these funny sayings. To me, a job is an invasion of privacy. Unknown, He who laughs last at the bosss jokes probably isnt far from retirement. Unknown, There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working. Robert Half, Retirement: its nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese. Gene Perret, You cant retire from being great. Unknown, Some of the best memories are made in flip flops. Kellie Elmore, We make a living by what we get. What Are The Very Early Signs Of Dementia? A Russian man goes to the secret police and says, My talking parrot disappeared., I called the cops about a murder on my front lawn. If you dont mind, it doesnt matter. Mark Twain, Retirement: no job, no stress, no pay! Unknown, Retire from work, but not from life. M.K. A. 43. 2. Open up! - Unknown. If you look at what you dont have in life, youll never have enough. your many years of sacrifice and service. "Enjoy your new weekends which will last 7 days!". Vince Lombardi, "The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off." This is in line with the philosophy of the joy of being retired website which is to celebrate retirement and laugh at it instead of looking at it as a bad thing. 80 Retirement Quotes - Inspirational and Funny Retirement Sayings Last updated: February 17, 2023 Retirement quotes are a fantastic way of making the retiree in your life feel recognized and appreciated. The police had to comb the area. Nothing happens by accident. Antoine de Saint Exupery, In preparing for battle, I have found that plans are useless, but planning indispensable. After retirement, a 30 minute walk is the best thing to do for your ailments! Keep in touch . Funny Retirement Quotes - Funny Quotes about Retirement to Make the Retiree Smiles. Walter Cronkite, "I'm always announcing my retirement. 10. West, You can never have the comeback if you dont have the retirement. Chael Sonnen, I see retirement as just another of these reinventions, another chance to do new things and be a new version of myself. Walt Mossberg, Golf is played by 20 million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. Jim Bishop, A lot of friends complain about their retirement. If we command our wealth, we shall be rich and free. For Your Loyal and Dedicated Service The best part about is that they will be relatable to just about. What do police officers do when they are on the volleyball court? Live well and prosper. Confucius, Retirement is not the end of the road. Have you been drinking?, Driver: I noticed your eyes are glazed over. So increasingly will be peace. Sandra Day O'Connor, "I wanted to have more time to play and reflect, but I find retirement more stressful than having a nice, steady job because I have to make decisions about where I want to be." Richard Thaler, Not having to worry about money is almost like not having to worry about dying. The word "retirement" strikes a chord with all human beings. The police are the public and the public are the police; the police being only members of the public who are paid to give full time attention to duties which are incumbent on every citizen in the interests of community welfare and existence. Capitalize on what comes. Chaparral Winds is a retirement facility in Surprise, Arizona offering assisted living, independent living, and memory care services. Love sharing with your friends and family? 38. All the best for an amazing retirement! 14 reasons why retirement jobs are the best! To the People of the State of New York. A personalized best wishes and inspirational quote is an ideal way to honor the retiring police officer who spent his or her lifetime protecting and serving the community. Betty Sullivan, "Retirement is not the end of the road. We tell em to get a life. Vince Lombardi, In retirement, every day is Boss Day and every day is Employee Appreciation Day. Unknown, Working people have a lot of bad habits, but the worst of those is work. Clarence Darrow, Money is something you got to make in case you dont die. Max Asnas, I dont feel old. Grammar Police Funny Sarcasm Quotes Literary T-Shirt . An officer sees a man exit a bar at closing time and get into his car. Showing search results for funny police retirement sorted by relevance. Before you die, give. Here are a couple of one liners that you may be able to use: "I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.". 13. Retirement's the most wonderful thing. They apply financial concepts in a general manner and include - Malcolm Forbes. These quotes are perfect to wish your retiring boss, teachers, doctors and co-workers. What did the police officer say to the hand? Women go right on cooking.". Retirement Quotes. "When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Julius Sharpe"There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working." RELATED: These Funny Comebacks And Insults Are What Our Minds Are Really Made Of. forget that the highest appreciation is not Why did the NYPD show up at the Mets game? May we live up to your example. I feel as light as a feather. Javier Perez De Cuellar, Happiness is being like you retired! Catherine Pulsifer, The moneys no better in retirement but the hours are. Unknown, Retirement is when you stop living at work and begin working at living. Unknown, Retirement itself is the best gift. Read more quotes about aging, retirement and motivation: Sedona Winds Retirement Communityoffersindependent living in Sedona, Arizona, can help! I did not write the law. All the best!". I was arrested by the grammar police for not using the full stop correctly. What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? Scott Cook 0 Likes Sponsored Links At PoemSearcher.com find thousands of poems categorized into thousands of categories. The current institutionally provided retirement plans will not cover people's needs upon retirement. Sandra Day OConnor, Retirement is not in my vocabulary. We collect and curate only the best quotes, and display them in a clutter free, aesthetic list. What are the cat police called? Why did the police officer smell so bad? Funny police retirement quotes sayings. it has a blue light. Find GIFs with the latest and newest hashtags! We, your Friends and Brothers, Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life. Retirement Party. There's more time for leisure but retirees take many different paths. 2010-2023Sedona Winds Retirement CommunityAll Rights Reserved. Showering is Now Optional. Whether you're looking for retirement quotes for coworkers or for a friend, these quotes are perfect for writing in a message or card. Disclaimer: The content, calculators, and tools on NewRetirement.com are for informational and educational purposes Else, I would have to go to the police station and report you to the cops. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it." - Gene Perret "When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income" - Chi Chi Rodriguez "There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working" - Robert Half "I have never liked working. Leadership peace war world. The police are calling it an axe-i-dent. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." - Mark Twain "Retirement: no job, no stress, no pay!" - Unknown "Retire from work, but not from life." - M.K. Happy retirement.". Custom and user added quotes with pictures. Retirement may be looked upon either as a prolonged holiday or as a rejection, a being thrown on to the scrap-heap. Source Unknown, Gods retirement plan is out of this world. 51. Think about retirement as being two six month holidays per year. Before you criticize, wait. Officer: "I have to give you a ticket for not wearing your glasses." Driver: "Officer, I have contacts." Officer: "I don't care who you know, you're still getting a ticket." New England Patriots/Giphy 31. He approaches her and asks, Are you OK? The woman replies, Yes, but how do I get to the hospital? The officer says, Just keep standing there.. Unknown, Far from idleness being the root of all evil, it is rather the only true good. They aren't going to get rid of me that way." A cop gives a woman a speeding ticket, and she wants to know why he didnt give her a warning first. See more ideas about funny sayings quotes. Mark Twain, A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams. Showing search results for "Police Retirement" sorted by relevance. different scenarios on retirement income. Ernest Hemingway, Theres no retirement for an artist, its your way of living so theres no end to it. There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working. Jelly, powdered, glazed, and chocolate frosted. You Never Swerved From the Path of Duty. It's time to say goodbye, but I think goodbyes are sad, and I'd much rather say hello. You will always have a home here. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability. W. Somerset Maugham, Work saves us from three great evils: boredom, vice and need. No matter your connection to or feelings for cops, police jokes will have the whole family laughing. 20 Cops Memes Humor In 2020 Cops Humor Police Humor Cop Jokes . Know what you own, and know why you own it. 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SO I RETIRED AND FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB! Have you been eating donuts?, 6. Bette Davis, "I need to retire from retirement." Need some retirement card ideas for your co-worker? It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver. I believe in financial retirement. When you get retired of life, you become the nanny of your grandchildren. Inspirational Retirement Quotes Funny Quotes About Retirement Funny Retirement Quotes For Women Maxine Retirement Quotes Funny Life Quotes Abraham Lincoln Quotes Albert Einstein Quotes Bill Gates Quotes . the People of the City of New York. Before you spend, earn. You Served Honestly, Faithfully and Carolyn Leigh and Cy Coleman Jump in! Mason Cooley, Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else. for the rest of the department. How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? 11. Anonymous Will Rogers, Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. Unknown, "When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. The police told me they'd throw me in jail the next time they caught me stealing board games. - Greg Tamblyn " You gain two new best friends upon your retirement. Retirement is a Piece of Cake. significant financial decision. Get great tips for managing money in retirement, What happens if you really do run out of money in retirement, 22 smart and easy ways to boost retirement savings, 4 ways to find meaning and purpose in retirement. May you enjoy every minute of your retirement. Happy retirement my dear friend. "Enjoy being the master of absolutely nothing.". 37. There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. Retirement is just a never ending vacation. Search, discover and share your favorite Retirement GIFs. We have rebelled against them. Margaret Nash, Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache unless you play golf. Gene Perret, I work harder now that I have retired from corporate life, than when I actually worked, but I love it. Catherine Pulsifer, I am a free man. Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! I love you! Terri Guillemets, Tips for retirement from the science of happiness, In retirement, I look for days off from my days off. 21. Retirement memes: Sometimes the good old joke gets, well, old.
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