What are the three people you can never advise? An Arsenal fan is walking past White Hart Lane and sees three season tickets nailed to the wall. BETWEEN TOTTENHAM and ARSENAL FANS at NORTH LONDON DERBY Thogden 1.29M subscribers Join Subscribe 682K views 9 months ago Special atmosphere at North London Derby inside Tottenham stadium. How do you make an Arsenal fan a millionaire?Tell them to save up for the champions league final. Q: What is the difference between a Tottenham supporter and a baby? A young team lost their hope and then lost their heads and focus completely. (Emery who? Taking to Twitter, a fan remarked: "Only Arsenal will duck a fixture against us then have the arrogance to drop a s*** trophy joke on the club website which isn't even true." A: They're both empty from the neck up. Whats the difference between a Tottenham fan and a broken clock?Even a broken clock is right twice a day! They slaughter the sheep and use their wool for warmth until they become hungry.The Hartlepool fan says, Im from Hartlepool so Ill have the heart. The Liverpool fan says, Im from Liverpool so Ill have the liver.At last, the Arsenal fan says, Urm Im not hungry.. Arsenal goalkeeper, Aaron Ramsdale, has explained why a Tottenham Hotspur fan attacked him following his side's Premier League North London derby 2-0 win over Spurs on Sunday. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of whiskey didn't break. He takes one and jumps.The fourth passenger was the Pope. Enjoy the team's latest comic relief and have a laugh at their expense, from FIFA to Scunthorpe! "So you're an Arsenal fan, that's interesting. Shoot the Arsenal Fan. What do you say to a Spurs fan with a good-looking bird on his arm?Nice tattoo. "Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?" Q: What do you say to a Gunners supporter with a good looking bird on his arm? For example [my story] would show as my story on the Web page containing your story.TIP: Since most people scan Web pages, include your best thoughts in your first paragraph. Last season, during a match against Reading , Gunners supporters chanted non-stop for Rocastle for the first 10 minutes of the fixture . Spurs supporters were left annoyed over the message, as they insisted that it was an unnecessary cheap shot. However, the real challenge for Wenger in what could well be his last season in charge of Arsenal is to try and snap the team out of the feedback loop they have been stuck in for the second half of his reign. 40 FC Barcelona Jokes You Cannot Share With A Cule, 80 Football World Cup 2022 Jokes To Cheer Soccer Fans, 35 Tottenham Jokes You Cannot Share With Spurs Fans. Similar to Bananaman getting called up as an Avenger. Arsenal fans still sing his name with pride and affection. A: So Tottenham supporters can get laid too. Mark White has been a staff writer on FourFourTwo since joining in January 2020, writing pieces for both online and the magazine. Q: Why are Tottenham Hotspur jokes getting dumb and dumber? The car radio automatically switches to classical music. A: People would pass up a pair of Arsenal tickets. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. He then remembered the priest, and he turned to the priest and said, "sorry Father, I almost hit that Tottenham Hotspur supporter." When he was injured,the Newspaper wrote"Arsenal to play without Dicks". 40 Lyktan 8 yr. ago Funny you say that. We know its important but its only Spurs. A former Arsenal academy star, Bennacer has the chance to gain some favourable points with his ex-north London side with a big performance against Tottenham in the Champions League, and. The Arsenal fan said I'm not hungry. A big cheer goes up as the screen shows West Ham 1 (Maradona 10 minutes) Tottenham 0 He is beating Spurs all by himself!Anyway, a few more beers later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers, It must be full time now, lets see how he got on! They put the TV on. The fan had got down to the front of the stand, stood on the hoardings and aimed a kick at Ramsdale, before being pushed away by a steward and disappearing back up the stands. 62 NuzzlesK 8 yr. ago What does an Arsenal fan do when his team wins a trophy? A: The accused. Why are Tottenham jokes getting dumber by the day? Q: What do you call a dead Gunner Fan in a closet? Get the best features, fun and footballing quizzes, straight to your inbox every week. For other inquiries, Contact Us. A: A good start! Post your Arsenal banter in the comment section below. They decided not to press charges because it was 2 of one and half a score of the other. Arsenal are to allow their goal keepers, to train without a mask, The car radio automatically switches to a Rolling Stones tune. Whilst the away end was bouncing, one Arsenal fan was hiding in plain sight behind enemy lines, and went viral for showing off his Arsenal kit in the home end, without the steward noticing, as you can see in the video below. Unleash your creativity & share you story! A subscription makes a thoughtful gift for both family and friends. The Arsenal fan replied," I agree with you completely; this must be a sign from God! Did you hear about Arsenals 6th consecutive season in Europa League?They are going to visit places we have only seen in Bible to play football. Theres an article here about a man who traded his wife for an Arsenal season ticket. A: They both spend a lot of time in the cellar, cost too much and are only enjoyed on select occasions. Q: What do you call 5 Tottenham fans standing ear to ear? replied her husband. "That's excellent! The primary is a Manchester United supporter, the second an Arsenal supporter, and the third a Spurs supporter. She sits down with Johnny and asks him if this is really true about his dad. Jokes About Arsenal What do you call an Arsenal fan in a 3 bedroom semi? "Arsenal Story JokesTwo Gunners fans are on the plane on the way to Holland. This site uses cookies to personalize ads and to analyse web traffic, for more info please review our Privacy Policy. A: A mosquito stops sucking. I dont do it frequently, but once in a while, I like to call down to Earth and check if any of the people have any questions for me. Watch Champions League Live Tottenham fan kicks Arsenal goalkeeper Aaron Ramsdale in back after drama-filled end to Premier League clash It took place behind the Gunners' goal when Ramsdale. Shall I call your wife for you?" Its God, and he says, Welcome! The jibe is common between the two sets of fans. Im looking for a rubbish tip.The other man said, Arsenal to win the Premier League., A woman was reading a newspaper one morning when she mentioned a piece of news to her husband.Take a look at this, dear. ", The reporter starts again: "QPR fan saves friend from horrific attack. Please note that all fields followed by an asterisk must be filled in. He takes one parachute and jumps.The second passenger is Elon Musk: I am the founder of SpaceX and king of the electric vehicle (EV) industry. Enter your account data and we will send you a link to reset your password. Q: What is the difference between a bucket of shit and a Gunners fan? Emmanuel Adebayor walks into a sperm donor bank in London Primary Q: What team comes beatween your legs and your back? The Arsenal players understandably weren't happy with the situation and rushed over to defend their man of the match, especially due to an altercation with Richarlison. It's another one of football's immutable laws; a binding force holding Arsenal in place: Never too good. He replied, "Arsenal to win the premiership. Q: What's the difference between a line of cocaine and a pair of Tottenham Hotspur tickets? Be it the home match against Leicester City in the season 2015/16 or the away match in Europa League R16 at Zagreb in season 2020/21, Spurs find a way to cheer their rival fans.In the current season, Tottenhams last-minute failure against Sporting Lisbon extended Antonio Contes dreadful champions league record. What should you do? Do that, and Arsenal fans won't even have to rely on Tottenham's annual failings to put a smile on their faces. A: The baby will stop whining after awhile. What trophy will Arsenal win this season?August invincibles. Well, were having trouble getting motivated for this game. I will eat the heart Tottenham are simply incapable of finishing above their rivals; the football gods will not allow it. A: Frequent Flyer Miles earn points. "I'm going to give Mass at St. Francis church, about two miles down the road," replied the priest. You wouldn't do a thing like that,-would you?' Little Johnny is last, and finally the teacher calls on him to talk about his dad. Not really knowing what a Tottenham Hotspur supporter was, but wanting to be like their teacher, hands explode into the air. So far, he has been punched, spat at, kicked, and verbally abused. Instagram - Facebook - YouTube@SoccerManiak801. The coach was upset so the Newspaper changed the headline to read"Arsenal to play with Dicks out" A record number of women attended the match. The teacher is shocked, and she calls for an early recess for the rest of the class. Q: What does a fine wine and Arsenal have in common? The man pauses for a moment before exclaiming, God! When is Tottenham going to win a trophy? Surely God wants us to drink this and celebrate our good fortune.". View our online Press Pack. 679215 Registered office: 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF. Knock, knock. What did the guy do when a kinky girl asked him to humiliate her?He bought her a Tottenham shirt. The Spurs fan continued, "And look at this - here's another miracle. "The Sun", "Sun", "Sun Online" are registered trademarks or trade names of News Group Newspapers Limited. Entering your story is easy to do. Why is Arsenal gutted at the collapse of the European Super League?They were really looking forward to the possibility of finishing as high as 12th place. Q: What's the difference between onions and a Tottenham supporter? Q: What do I have in common with Arsenal? An encyclopedia of football shirts and boots knowledge both past and present Mark has also been to the FA Cup and League Cup finals for FFT and has written pieces for the mag ranging on subjects from Bobby Robson's season at Barcelona to Robinho's career. the second one wore supported Manchester United and wore red knickers, He refuses to look at them. Little Johnny is last, and finally the teacher calls on him to talk about his dad. AN Arsenal fan has trolled Tottenham by wearing a Gunners shirt in the home end during the North London derby. Each supports a different team, one for Hartlepool, one for Liverpool, and one for Arsenal. "That's OK," replied the priest "I got him with the door." A: Intelligent Tottenham supporters. What is so strange about The Gunners defeat to Man Utd?They had Jesus, Mohamed, and Ram in their team and still lost to the devils. Q: What is the difference between Arsenal and a cup of tea? Hate Jokes Arsenal You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake, and an Arsenal Fan. Piers Morgan joked Arsenal don't need Mykhailo Mudryk as he watched his beloved side beat Tottenham. Tottenham have their own customized version of the phrase to bottle. To Spurs a game or have something Spursed is equivalent to bottling something. Q: How do you casterate a Spurs supporter? The Sun website is regulated by the Independent Press Standards Organisation (IPSO), Our journalists strive for accuracy but on occasion we make mistakes. Three aged soccer fans enter a church. Why should Spurs have some talks with Theresa May?They got out of Europe within 2 months. "Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?" What does an Arsenal fan do when he sees a blue bird flying?Shoots it and then gives it to a Spurs Fan. "I'd like to donate some sperm" he says to the receptionist. A pause, and a smile. At a local derby between Arsenal and Spurs last season, a spectator suddenly found himself in the thick of dozens of flying bottles. On that occasion, the fan lifted his phone in the air showing the Arsenal badge on his screen, before putting it away and sinking back into the Stamford Bridge seats. This is where you can join supporters clubs, follow Arsenal on social media, download exclusive wallpapers and vote for your player of the month. The player from Liverpool goes, well in that case I'll eat the LIVER. Coach Ivan plays on passion but walkoff is a step too far, Transfer Talk: Bayern still keen on Kane despite new Choupo-Moting deal, Reiten's, Maanum's parallel paths in Norway intersect in League Cup final. If you use a smartphone, you can also use the drawer menu of the browser you are using. A: Next week, we'll both be watching the Champions League final on television. Real Madrid's Toni Kroos appeared on a podcast with his brother, Felix, who slammed FIFA's decision to award former Arsenal goalkeeper, Emi Martinez, the Best Goalkeeper gong, saying it was a . Lucy Pinder, Chris Packham and David Frost all make the cut of famous Saints fans (some more famous than others), but probably the most famous must go to Craig David. What have Arsenal FC and demonstrators got in common?They get beaten regularly. Ive only had him for like 20 months.. Q: What do you call an Tottenham Hotspur fan that does well on an IQ test? A: Intelligent Arsenal supporters. They called the police and then, for decency, decided to cover her up. Knock, knock. A: Even a fat chick scores every once in a while! The car radio automatically switches to an Arse match on Capital "Gooner" Gold. Thankfully nothing too drastic happened. by Have a funny joke on Arsenal? Q: What's the difference between Frequent Flyer Miles and Arsenal? Since 1961:Man has walked on the moon.England has won a World Cup.The Berlin Wall was put up.The Berlin Wall was pulled down.Color television has been invented.Internet has been invented.Lots of people have Netflix and chilled.People have started paying in Cryptocurrency.But Spurs still havent won the league. Whats up? He asks. A: Kick his sister in the mouth What is the difference between Euro and Conte?Euro works in Europe. (Whos there?)Emery. What do you call a dead Tottenham Fan in a closet?Last years winner of the hide and seek contest. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. A: Because you can park in the handicap zone! Bath Even though he was certain that he had missed the guy, he still heard a loud THUD. Why dont they drink tea at White Hart Lane?Because all the cups are in Manchester. Arsenal currently sit above seventh-placed Spurs in the Premier League table on goal difference, though Tottenham do have a game in hand over Mikel Arteta's men. It was almost as though football was exercising its yin and yang, using divine intervention to restore balance in the universe by ensuring that Arsenal's primacy was to be protected. Those of you who have teens can tell them clean arsenal championship dad jokes. 'My daddy is a dancer at a gay bar. Why was the wife shocked on the wedding night?She thought she was marrying an Arsenal fan not an arsehole fan. I think I will just wait for the police"Jokes About ArsenalThere was a Spurs fan, a Gunner fan and Megan Fox sitting together in a carriage on a train. Why are Tottenham jokes getting dumber by the day?Because the fans started to make them up themselves. Funny Arsenal Jokes Arsenal's 100% win record start to the EPL season 2022-23 was finally ended after six games, and fans are speculating about a similar pattern in previous seasons post-Wenger era. You wont get hit unless the bottles got your name on it., Thats just what Im worried about, said the fan,my names Johnny Walker.. Q: Why do people like driving a car with a Gunners fan? If you're searching for Tottenham Jokes For Arsenal Fans topic, you have visit the ideal page. Any suggestion that supporters celebrating second place were incorrect to do so betrays a lack of understanding of the specific context, and from a broader perspective, the very essence of what makes football what it is. Thinking quickly, his friend rips a plank of wood from a fence, forces it into the dog's collar and twists it, breaking the dog's neck. Heres how it works. "Intelligence reports indicate that the latest additions to the Ukranian arsenal are damaged and outdated, and many won't pose any threat to us at all." What is the similarity between Arsenal on top of the EPL table and an elephant on top of a tree?Nobody knows how it got there but everybody knows how it will fall. Q: What is the difference between a bucket of shit and a Spurs fan? "Arsenal Story JokesTwo men are fishing on a river bank in a remote area of the River Thames on a Saturday afternoon miles away from any radio or tv.Suddenly one man turns to the other and says "The Gunners have lost again. They're both obsessed with Tottenham. Q: What's the difference between a fat chick and an Arsenal striker? Ever since the Gunners made the move from south of the river to Islington in 1913, there's been needle between the red and white sides of north London. )Gunner be a long season for Arsenal at this rate! "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron, What would you be then?" ", This satisfies the woman, who immediately gets back into the car and drives for home. Get insight to top players, instructions & drills and extensive coverage of equipment. ", Another said: "The fact Arsenal have to put that on their website shows how threatened they are of us nowadays. A booming voice welcomes them as they stroll via the doorways. This service is provided on News Group Newspapers' Limited's Standard Terms and Conditions in accordance with our Privacy & Cookie Policy. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh. Just type!Your story will appear on a Web page exactly the way you enter it here. "Arsenal Story JokesA woman buys a car in London. "Funniest Arsenal FC JokesOne day Tom Thumb, Snow White, and Quasimodo are sitting around talking. Twice. Twice. If you're searching for Tottenham Jokes For Arsenal Fans topic, you have visit the ideal page. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. ", The reporter asks: "Who do you support, then? What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Spurs strikers?Clinton can score. One turns to the other and says "Hey Arthur! Ive let you down Ive let you down.Dont be stupid Diego, you got a draw against Spurs all by yourself. So the guy from Manchester says, well since I'm from ManCHESTer, i'll get the chest. Why did the Spurs have been forced to rename their ground White Lane?Because their Hart was surgically removed when Berbatov and Keane were sold. What do Arsenal and Tottenham fans have in common?Theyre both obsessed with Tottenham. Select it and click on the button to choose it.Then click on the link if you want to upload up to 3 more images. (Whos there?)Gunner. T.Shirt for 2 weeks. She asks Mary why she is a Liverpool supporter. ', Megan Fox was thinking: 'That Arsenal fan must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Spurs fan and got slapped for it.'. ?He kept throwing out the W's.Best Arsenal JokesWhat do you call a fly inside an Arsenal fans head ? They enter the weekend occupying the last of the Champions League qualifying places after 25 . "can I have a Big Mac! When the police arrived they needed to examine the body so the policeman lifted the Spurs cap and looked at one breast, then he lifted the Watford cap and examined the other. Entering your story is easy to do. For further details of our complaints policy and to make a complaint please click this link: thesun.co.uk/editorial-complaints/, Tottenham were trolled by Arsenal for their lack of trophies on the Gunners' online store, Independent Press Standards Organisation (IPSO). not knowing where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors but still didn't see anything. A: Dress her in an Arsenal jersey! The receptionist replies She asks her students to raise their hands if they were Tottenham Hotspur supporters, too. What's the bad the news?" Why did the aliens land in the Emirates?Because theres no atmosphere. Q: Why do people like driving a car with a Spurs fan? As the goals flew in for Arsenal at Emirates Stadium in their 4-0 win against Aston Villa, in Newcastle the opposite was being inflicted on Tottenham as they somehow slumped to a 5-1 deficit against a relegated team with 10 men. They said lets split it based on the soccer clubs we support. Q: Did you hear that Arsenal doesn't have a website? There is, however, one exception. In such page, we additionally have number of images out there. One day there was 3 girls one supported Leeds United and wore blue knickers, A: Because Arsenal supporters have started to make them up themselves. Do you have some pictures or graphics to add? Why do ducks fly over Emirates Stadium upside down? Again she speaks to the car radio"Country Music". We suggest to use only working arsenal juventus piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Tottenham Hotspur Jokes Back to: Sports Jokes Follow @quickjokes Q: What do you call 100 Tottenham Hotspur supporters at the bottom of a cliff? Never too bad. A: Because the cup's always in Manchester! Q: Why did god invent alcohol? Johnny says; 'No, but I was too embarrassed to say he played for Arsenal.' "Well, My Dad and Mom are Liverpool supporters, and I'm a Liverpool fan, too!" A: I cry when I cut up onions I hope you have enjoyed reading all of these Arsenal jokes as much as I have :DPlease feel free to read more about Arsenal FC from the links below Would you prefer to share this page with others by linking to it? I waited for Two hours in the cold.". Your Dark Sage Green Aesthetic Pictures images are accessible in this blog. One week later the three were all killed in a car crash. "That's no reason," she says loudly. Please refresh the page and try again. Q: Why are Tottenham strikers like grizzly bears? FC Arsenal Funny Jokes What does a Spurs fan do after he sees his team win a trophy?Turns off the Xbox. "Yes" replies Lukas "you should have my details on your computer". Q: Who delivers Arsenals Christmas presents? Q: How do you stop a Spurs supporter from beating his wife? Q: How do you keep a Spurs fan from masterbating? Why did he say that when the result was announced that Tottenham lost?Because hes a Spurs supporter. Q: What do you call a dead Tottenham Fan in a closet? Did you hear about the ref who was flashed by a soccer team?He saw arsenal. To use social login you have to agree with the storage and handling of your data by this website. Turn off the PlayStation. ", The boy interrupts: "But I'm not a Spurs fan. it's that we also need to equip our nukes with child locks. Theyre shit and we cant be bothered.Maradona looks at them and says Well I know Im a bit fat and old, but I reckon I can beat them by myself, you lads go down the pub. So Maradona goes out to play Spurs by himself and the rest of the West Ham team go off for a few beers.After a few pints, they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the TV on. "Oh yes, I've found your details" says the receptionist "but I see you're going to need help. Q: Did you hear that Tottenham Hotspur doesn't have a website? Perhaps there is someone more beautiful than me!" A tourist is in North London one Saturday and he decides he would very much like to go to a football match, so he asks a man in the street if there are any local matches being played that afternoon. Reckless Driver How do you know Antonio Conte must have hurt his leg whilst at Tottenham Hotspur?He is always relying on Son and Kane. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days.". Share the funny puns and roasts in the comment section below. Q: Why don't they drink tea at Emirates Stadium? One day while driving along, he saw a priest. She sits down with Johnny and asks him if this is really true about his dad. Whether it's a Windows, Mac, iOS or Android operating system, you will still be able to bookmark this site. I support Liverpool so I will eat it's Liver Meanwhile, a Manchester United star faces a snub from . Then he hands the bottle to the Arsenal fan. The jibe is common between the two sets of fans. Local superiority is essential. To inquire about a licence to reproduce material, visit our Syndication site. A: Last years winner of the hide and seek contest. There are also arsenal puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls. Arsenals 100% win record start to the EPL season 2022-23 was finally ended after six games, and fans are speculating about a similar pattern in previous seasons post-Wenger era. Browse and manage your votes from your Member Profile Page, Your email address will not be published. The Arsenal supporter prays to God, When will Arsenal win the Premier League again? , to which God replies, In 20 years. The admirer, like the first, is visibly upset, saying, Thats a shame, Ill probably be dead by then.God then turns his attention to the last man, asking, And what of you, my son? What exactly is your question? What do Tottenham Hotspur and excellent wine have in common?They both spend a lot of time in the cellar, cost too much, and are only enjoyed on select occasions. To use social login you have to agree with the storage and handling of your data by this website. Ramsdale had been a key figure in the victory . In such page, we additionally have number of images out there. Q: What does an Arsenal supporter and a bottle of beer have in common? Browse and manage your votes from your Member Profile Page, Your email address will not be published. The priest climbed into the passenger seat, and they continued down the road. (Wenger who? and a mosquito? Arsenal fans love a dig at Tottenham so they'll be thrilled to know even the online store is getting in on the act.
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